FII TIMES 1ST EDITION

LEPRECHAUNS LAND ON MOON

500 YEARS AGO THREE LEPRECHAUNS DECIDED THAT THEY WOULD FIND A WAY TO GO TO THE MOON. THEY HAD HEARD THAT MAN COULD GO ON THE MOON. THEY HAD NO INTENTION OF BEING LEFT BEHIND BY THOSE NOSE PICKING, ARMPIT SCRATCHING, CAR-MAKERS. "WE WORKED ON DIFFERENT KINDS OF TOY ROCKETS FOR DECADES UNTIL WE FINALLY DECIDED TO COPY A HUMAN ROCKET DESIGN," SAID TOM ROCKET,1000. ONE OF THE LEPRECHAUNS WHO TOOK THE ROCKET DESIGN FROM THE HUMANS.

HORNLESS UNICORNS

MANY UNICORNS HAVE BEEN HAVING THERE HORNS SURGICALLY REMOVED SO THAT THEY CAN LIVE LIKE ORDINARY HORSES. THEY HAVE FOUND THAT HUMAN FARMERS ARE VERY NASTY TO THERE HORSES. "THEY MAKE US EAT RAW OATS AND THEY RIDE AROUND ON OUR BACKS LIKE WERE A COUPLE OF THERE SMELLY OLD CARS. I MEAN WERE MAGICAL ANIMALS, WE DESERVE SOME RESPECT,"

BROUGHT TO YOU BY:
UNICORN HORNS, HEARS YOUR POINT IN LIFE!